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When I broke two eggs into a skillet, I remembered it was Fathers Day, and was saddened a bit that neither of our children were here to spend the day. But what-the-heck, it wasnt practical anyway. My own father has been gone for 12 years leaving me with a somewhat empty feeling, but thats the way of nature, right? Every day we march toward an unavoidable biological reality. There is no escape. As the eggs started to harden, a notion jumped front-and-center: this could be my last day! This could be Jim Morrisons old friend, THE END. Oddly, I was at peace with the thought. My birthday was last week. Was it to be my last?
After breakfast alonelike almost every breakfastI snuck a peek into a mirror. Although not the athlete I was, Im still fit. My hair, though thinning, is still dark. People have been accusing me of coloring it for years. I will admit to having a certain degree of vanity, but would never put up with the hassle involved in that process. I attempt to shun all things that are not joyful, peaceful, and/or value-added. Life has been thatcharmed. Ive had a long marriage to a woman who loves me (and my foibles) unconditionally though we are as different as night and day. Maybe thats why its worked. I think shell miss me, but get along just fine. My career with ups-and-downs has been rewarding, my health robust, and my hobbies engaging. What more could I want? The answer quite simply is timetheres never enough time. So, if this is my last day, Id better get to it; that is, writing this essay. I apologize if its only half the length of my usual efforts, but Ive got a deadlineliterally.
A close friend from high school days lives two hours south. We traveled from the Midwest to California years ago, and by chance, both ended up in the Arizona desert. He has had three heart attackstwo before we reached 40among other physical maladies while I have been untouched by the rags of growing old. The irony is that he asked me to deliver his eulogy, but the reality may be that hell tell funny and poignant stories about me. How do you like them apples? Hell do fine. Hes a polished public speaker although a bit wooden in his delivery, but not nearly as bad as Al I invented the Internet Gore. You see, its his nature to always be proper while I speak impertinently. Hey, I cant help it. Im a smart aleck.
Ive accomplished most things on my bucket list, but we never get to finish the list if we are forward thinking, imaginative, and ambitious. All the usual international sights and experiences are long behind me. My personal list is continually revised and expanded; for instance, I want to ride in the Goodyear Blimp, and drive the Weinermobile. Stealing and joyriding in a garbage truck also strikes me as fun. Another item that would be interesting, but long behind me, would be to bring a date to ones own wedding. Can you imagine what would hit the fan? However, it would be practical if you wanted an out. Certainly a better option than jumping on a plane and abandoning the affair the day before. Never happen you say? Au contraire! My best man pulled it offshowed up at my apartment two states away.
So if this is adieuthe French save that word for the final goodbyeIll see you on the other side. If someday after Im gone, and youre alone, you hear a strange noise like a slide-whistle, thatll be me.
..and if this is a false alarm? Hey, theres always tomorrow.
By Gene Myers. This is not copyrighted. I mean, why bother? Over and out.
